 So right now, I'm sitting at this computer desk, my truong papers, coke bottle, kpop through my speakers, lamp slowly burning my skin away and i'm thinking.. is it all worth it? Just a thought. I'm seriously considering my future at Truong. I have discussed it with my mother and I will be quitting truong after the June Exit Exam. As you guys know, truong is a huge part of my nonsense stress and seriously, i think it's affecting my mental health. I'm thinking of the very real possibilities of failure constantly. When I wake up, when I take the train to school, every time I talk to people like simon banh, michelle and wendy. Even in my dreams I am visualising the pain of failure. And dreams do come true- just in this case, I don't want it to. My results these past few tests have been the worst in my life. Like ever. So i'm wondering Is it all worth it? Is this worth all the hours of social isolation. Is this worth giving up my childhood. Is this worth missing out on trip to Vietnam, even a recent one where I would be honouring my Grandma's death. Is it really worth it to miss out on so much when in the end I will be receiving back a test full of red crosses, circles and blanks. Is it really worth it? So the plan is to keep going for now, try, oh god, try and complete the exit exam feeling as if i had done all i could. I need to feel that. Otherwise I will be in the one seriously contemplating the worth of my life. After that, i will be joining peak maths.. that is, if they allow me in. Wish me luck. I need it.
Labels: truong
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